Dear Retrom,

I'll miss you forever. I just keep wanting to find another one of you but that's obviously not going to be possible. Man I'm so stupid, I feel like I don't realise how things make people feel and to be honest, even thinking about the things I did now, without putting myself in your shoes, I wouldn't know that I've done anything wrong. Like I keep thinking I was fine to do things like have a sleepover with justin because I know my feelings for him were completely gone, so I keep having to put myself in your position every single time I think of scenarios like these. I feel like I should permanently remember that I'm wrong but I can't. I'm not sure why. I'm sorry Retrom. Maybe I'm really selfish? Or maybe I haven't experienced enough? I'm not sure whats wrong with me. I'm sorry. I really really really love you. I hope I die just for you because I'm horrible. I don't want to wish that youd find someone who's perfect for you because I really want to be with you. I do half wish that for you though. Ugh, sorry about everything.