did i cheat? i went on webcam and i flashed two people. i had no desire to see them. just for them to see me. i will ask justin tomorrow

i keep thinking about the valium. i want to take some so bad.

i want to break up with justin but i love him at the same time... he doesnt treat me right though

I just watch bad neighbours.. And it's weird, I kinda want to be something like that with justin oneday. To have a baby and be a family. To do cute things with him and our baby. Idk just to be an adult and do adult things. Just be a little happy family and have this life of my own with justin. 

i feel uncomfortably alone, i cant wait until i have drugs to make me sleep forever and forget about these feelings

we're not going too well. we fight a lot and mostly its due to him not being able to see me at the time we agree on... which leads to other fights. i try to talk to him but he just doesnt see or doesnt want to hear rather. we're not good, the sex sucks. i havent had good sex in weeks and he doesnt want to make me feel good at all. i'm definitely not going to blow him until i can see that he wants to make me feel happy. honestly, im sort of considering breaking up. its not going well, probably wont, and hes not the kind of guy/friend i want in my life right now.