When I delete contacts - it’s my first step to kicking that person out of my life. I feel like I can’t remove people out of my life because I’m not sure if the decision and judgement I make of them (that they use me) is correct. It’s like I keep wanting to give someone the benefit of the doubt because i believe people can change and become a better person than they were before very fast. Or maybe I just want friends. 

There are certain people in my life right now where I just feel used but I can’t address it and I feel bad for absolutely ignoring them but I want to cut them out of my life so bad. I just don’t know how. If I block, I feel too bad because they won’t know what they did wrong or what happened at all because the last interaction I had with them would have seemed like I was fine with everything. This is multiple people I’m talking about too. There’s many people in my phone book that I don’t want there. I want to never to see them again. But I don’t understand why just because they’re n my phone book, I can’t fully ignore them - I need my first step to ignore is to delete their number. 

Fkn high thoughts. I just want to make my mind pleasant. Cut out the negative.