i just realised, this is what my boyfriend does when we talk about things; ditch them when they become too much. I complain about it but I guess I do it too aha. the people you hang around with do change you

just another reason to be sad about, yay 25 may

i have to be my own person.
stop relying on someone for happiness.
find my own happiness.
if we break up, i will be strong and move on. ive tried for too long now.
i'm happy about how much i've grown, experienced and matured.
i loved this but it might be time for us to move on from each other.

i dont think he loves me

i cant tell him i am hurt about something without him criticising my wording and laughing at me and ignoring the whole problem. i have to bury everything deep inside me and feel hurt and upset alone, just to please him.

there is something...
i'm not sure
is he withholding something?
he doesnt seem to want me
i honestly feel undesirable and unloved
when i think about it, my heart hurts.
maybe instead of wanting sex simply because it is an act of intimacy, i should choose to not have sex until i reach a particular goal in my life.
i want to stop myself from wanting sex completely.
i need to think of how.

i am replaceable, he said. i'm also not needed.
just something to think about.