I seem to always be unsatisfied sexually with justin. I don't want to ask him to do things to me because it becomes needy and I want him to want to do things to me more. I tried guiding his hands but he just never got the message. We always do things that are good for him and rarely ever for me anymore. I wonder if back then when he sometimes would do things for me, if it was just because it somehow benefitted him. Not sure in what particular way but maybe he just wanted to explore and now he's bored of it. I get bored of blowjobs but I always do it for him. It really is so unfair. I don't know if in relationships there always has to be a giver and a receiver. Why can't we both be equal. I want things too. Just because I never did in the beginning and never touch myself does not mean that I don't want things. I wish he knew.

i had sex twice today with justin. its not as good as you think. its pretty disappointing. glad it was with him though, hes cute. im a bit sad.