im so angry with myself he is fully gone now :'( those messages were 100% original and came from his phone and now its gone... ALL I HAVE IS A MEMORY UGH UGH UGH

i was thinking of rewriting his messages so it would be kind of similar and at least i would remember some of the stuff he wrote but that would be EXTREMELY WEIRD and gay so ugh memory can you at least fucking remember this. btw my phone password is capslock. lol pls let there be no one i know that reads this blog

at first i was a bit alright with having my phones memory wiped and then i remembered that his messages would be deleted :'(

unbearable pain is unbearable why is it taking so long to restart. i just need to fucking see my empty blackberry. the suspense is killing me. i guess i feel a bit of hope but I KNOW THERE IS NONE UGSAHJDGLHDLUHXJLASKJLAUKGJUAkjshakhjd

everything deleted from my phones bc i forgot the passwrod ugh my friend asked me what my password was and i couldnt remember it weirdly enough its one of those "if you think about it too much you cant do it" things AND NOW I FUCKING HAVE LOST ALL MY CONTACTS I BET and i was like to my mum "can i borrow ur phone so i can put my sim card in.. maybe i saved some stuff in my sim card" and my mum was like "no my phone is like my diary" lol FUCK YOU BITCH why did you ask why i even had a lock on my phone then you selfish mother fucker i hate my mum

my mum is such a hypocrite im so fucking angry dad i love you i cant wait til i move out can i just live with my dad

I hate my mum. She's so fucking selfish and stingy. I will never be like her. I can't wait to move out.

V is sitting in the fridge waiting for me to drink it!!!!!!!!! Hurry up and get cold you douchebag! Hahaha. Ugh I use blogspot like its twitter. OH FUCKING WELL. I just wish I had people to reply back. Oh btw, I nearly cried like 5 times in psychology and 3 other times in my other classes today. I don't even know why! I'd look out the window and (sometimes) think of this "particular" person and I'd feel overwhelmed and my eyes would begin to water. Haha every time I think of them, I get motivated to do well in school but yet I feel extremely sad. ALSO I had to stop myself from laughing in english language today too. lmfaooooo I laugh at the most inappropriate and 'un-funny' (not even a word right?) things. I hope my facial expression didnt look too ridiculous then.. I felt my mouth twitching hahahaha

fuck why do you need to be 18 to buy a simple lighter!!!! I WANT A LIGHTER. lol and its weird that I have so many cigarettes in my room yet I havent even tried. I will one day I guess.. I wont die from taking a puff just because I have asthma right?