i cant have everything i want. i just have to remember that hes true to me. in every situation, he will be true to me.

i was good for a day. but i can feel myself sinking back.

Remember: don't tell him you love him or miss him first. You will just be rejected or ignored.

unloved. as always.

im tired of having to try so hard for someone who doesnt try for themselves. or maybe i just dont know how much he tries for himself and me.. just like he doesnt know how much i try for us. i feel like i have to stay positive and be careful what i say all the fucking time so that nothing goes wrong. i feel like i have to support him even when hes negative and even when im sad. i keep having to push my true words away and form something so fake but supports him which in turns supports me - because my happiness seems to depend on his. i wonder if he knows how much i have to try. he cant even send me some fake enthusiasm because its 'not him' but i have to be this entirely different person online most of the time. he doesnt know at all. i want to be supported. i dont want to carry anymore.

my anxiety is tiring