Life is hard. I can't call him selfish because it was his choice to break up with me and I asked him to stay, so it's not like I can say "if you loved me, you would..."  This is suppose to be me changing, even though in a relationship, many people have to change. Not in this case though. He wanted to break up. So basically I cannot complain. I have to deal with this sadness. There's really nothing I can do. I just have to think of a plan to kill myself. I'm not really sure. I feel so trapped. Maybe that's why I just want to take drugs. I'm so trapped.