Wednesday 20 July 2022

Giving up on him? Us?

 I feel like I’m giving up. Everything about him makes me angry and upset. And instead of talking about it or letting it go, I point it out and say the most vile things. I don’t know why it is but it’s almost like my end goal is to break up. And in hopes of this, I push my limits. 

Right now we are broken up. He says he can’t do it anymore either. I’m sad but I don’t know if I’m crying because I’m alone or because I don’t have him anymore. I don’t even know if I love him. Surely if you love someone you know right? Or am I making a mistake? 

I just walked past him and it seemed like he was upset. Why do I not feel care or love. I just feel awkward. I must be a cruel person. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This person that loves me but I just am so mean to them. I’m just so frustrated about so many things. There’s no way to change him. I really think I just might not like him unless I need him. 

I think I’m cruel.